


Scenes From Beach City

by rodneylives



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 09:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9378008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rodneylives/pseuds/rodneylives
Summary: A series of brief moments from Beach City, and the adventures of the Crystal Gems.





	1. Greg replaces Connie's computer

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some brief interactions between characters and situations. Strives to be as show-accurate as possible.

**Greg** : "So I'm really sorry Connie's laptop got broken, Lion's basically a big cat really. Isn't that right Lion?"

 **Lion** : "GRAWLF."

 **Greg** : _escaping claws_ "Heh. He's really gentle with most people though. And, um, most things. But anyway, I'll pay for it--"

_Pearl warps in via a beam of magic light._

**Ms.Maheswaran** : "Oh, that's fine, we can handle it. Connie needs her laptop for-- Oh, hello, 'Pearl' is it?"

 **Pearl** : "Ah! Connie's mother! I assume you're here to check on your daughter's progress?" _her pearl emits a burst of brilliant energy as she offhandedly reaches into it and pulls out a notebook_ "She is doing so well at sword training, I don't think I've ever had a student progress so fast."

 **Ms.M** : _with whom flattery never works unless it concerns her daughter_ "Well she did have a couple of years of tennis practice. Oh, I've been meaning to ask..."

 **Pearl** : "Yes?"

 **Ms.M** : "Those, what did she call them, 'gem experiments,' we got another one in the other day. It's pretty weak and we have it trapped in a broom closet, but we don't really know, um, what to do with it?"

 **Pearl** : "Oh! We should probably go get it from you."

 **Ms.M** : "It doesn't seem to have a heartbeat, we noticed. Once in a while it opens what seems to be a mouth, though, and it almost tried to talk--when it wasn't trying to bite Dr. West."

 **Pearl** : "Ah, it might be a little dangerous, we can go pick it up and poof it now if you want, it'll just take a few minutes."

 **Greg** : "Sorry to interrupt you two, before you go I really should pay for Connie's computer." _takes out a wad of $500 bills_

 **Ms.M** : "It's okay Greg, it was an accident and I'm sure that working at that car wash can't pay--" _looks at wad_

 **Greg** : "Would $5,000 do?"

 **Ms.M** : _goggles_

 **Pearl** : "What is it? Is something wrong with Greg's papers?"

 **Ms.M** : "How did you...?!"

 **Greg** : _embarrassed_ "Oh, um, I wrote the Pepe's Burgers jingle."

 **Ms.M** : " _YOU_ WROTE THE PEPE'S BURGERS JINGLE?!"

(star iris out)

 


	2. Chasing a Monster

**Monster** : _6 feet tall and radial like a starfish, but with a big mouth in the center_ "BLERGH"

**Pearl** : "It's running into town! Stop, you beast!" _zaps with lasers_

**Monster** : "BLERGH" _dodges, runs in direction of Big Donut_

**Amethyst** : "I got it! Just let me swing my--"

**Monster** : _stops and turns, catches whip with prehensile tongue, pulls it and Amethyst in_

**Steven** : "Amethyst!"

**Monster** : "BLERUF"

**Amethyst** : _top half sticking out of monster's mouth_ "UGH GUYS THIS IS EVEN SLIMIER THAN I'M USED TO."

**Steven** : _running to help_ "At least it's not a huge thingy like the Pufferfish. It's just a regular-sized thingy."

**Garnet** : "Whatever size thingy it is, we have to stop it before it hurts someone."

**Pearl** : "I got you!" _pulls Amethyst out with a wet SHLUMF sound_

**Monster** : _somewhat gratefully, but resumes fleeing_ "BLERGH"

**Amethyst** : _dripping with slime_ "UGH, I need a shower, like immediately! I'm going to the car wash."

**Pearl** : "Amethyst, we're in the middle of a battle!"

**Amethyst** : _slips and almost falls_ "I'm so covered in slime I can barely stand!  If you were in my place you'd be shaking on the ground making 'EW' noises. Like last week."

**Pearl** : "Uh, okay, granted, just hurry up!"

**Amethyst** : _stalking off_ "It'd have been better if it'd POOFED me."

**Monster** : _walks up to Onion, stares_ "BLERGH?"

**Onion** : _stares back unmoving_

**Monster** : (takes a step back and runs) "BLERGH!"

**Steven** : "Huh."

**Onion** : _shrugs_

 


	3. The Gems Try to Board a Jet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crystal Gems, stymied by another broken warp pad, try to fly home

_The Crystal Gems are waiting in line with humans in a strange place...._

  
**Pearl** : "I've been meaning to talk to Peridot about finding a way to fix the warp pads, if the England Island pad didn't get smashed in that fight we wouldn't have to go through this..." _searches for word_ "...rigamarole."

**Steven** : "That's good later, but until then we have to have a way back home, and Uncle Andy's in Bolivia."

**Amethyst** : "IMMA RIDE A AIRPLANE!"

**Garnet** : "Mmmm, I dunno know if dis i' such a good idea."

**Steven** : "I can't walk underwater for two weeks to get back, and you guys need to see more of human culture."

**Pearl** : "Yes, but... _commercial air_?"

**Amethyst** : "IMMA RIDE A AIRPLANE!!"

**Steven** : "You'll love it!  Well, you might like it?  Okay, we're riding coach so it'll probably suck, but it's all the money I had on me."

**Garnet** : "I'm surprised you 'ad that much."

**Steven** : "Dad's taken to sending me out with money stitched into a false lining of my pocket for emergencies."

**Garnet** : "Ah, I was won'nerin' why you were rippin' up yer pocket, wot."

**Steven** : "Garnet...?"

**Garnet** : "So'y luv, I like how th' na'ives 'ere talk.  I will stop.  With effort."

**Pearl** : " _Thank you._ "

**Amethyst** : "IMMA RIDE A--"

**Pearl** : _pushing from behind_ "We know!"

**Steven** : "Okay, up ahead this sign says we're going to need to have our... um, what's a passport?"

**Pearl** : "A passport?"

**Garnet** : "Uh-oh."

**Steven** : "You don't have those?"

**Pearl** : "Steven, we're gems.  _You_ might could get one, but we're not citizens."

**Steven** : "Hmm... how do we go about getting one of these 'passports?'"

**Garnet** : "It's not to be Steven, we have to find another way."

**Amethyst** : "Imma ride a airplane?"

**Garnet** : "I'm afraid not, luv."

**Steven** : "Wait a minute.  You said I might be able to get one.  Let's leave and think this through.  I might have an idea...."

  
**Three days later...**

  
**Steven** : _in line again, carrying a satchel, quietly_ "Okay guys, keep it together, you just have to make it through security."  _to Security_   "Hello!"

**Security** : "Hello..." _looks at ticket_ "...Mr. Steven Universe!  We don't often see a kid of your age traveling alone!  Do you have your passport?"

**Steven** : "Here it is!  It took us some effort to get it after I got stranded here by.... um...."

**A Whispered Voice From His Satchel** : "Shipwreck."

**Steven** : "Our boat wrecked up in Sussex."

**Security** : "Well your passport seems to be in order."

**Steven** : "It took my Dad back in the US a lot of talking with the embassy to get it!"

**Security** : "I'll bet!  Just put your luggage on this conveyor belt and step through the scanner."

**Steven** : "We- uh, I travel light, just this satchel."

**Security** : "Fine, fine."  _takes out a necklace with a gigantic purple gemstone, a huge broach with a gigantic oval pearl, and a belt with a large ruby and sapphire inset_

**Steven** : (to self) "I'm glad our gems aren't metal...."

**Security** : "This fancy jewelry looks expensive!  Are you some kind of young rock star?"

**Steven** : "My dad's a musician, and yes, it cost a fortune to get them through customs!"  _under breath_   "Thanks Dad."

**Security** : "This purple piece in particular.... uh, is it vibrating?"

**Steven** : "Of course not, it's just a necklace!"  _glares at purple necklace, which stops quivering with excitement_

**Security** : "It's not every day that a kid flies overseas with just a satchel containing three extremely expensive pieces of jewelry, but it all checks out.  Have a good flight!"

**Steven** : "Thanks!  Uh, which way to the bathroom?"

 


	4. Lars' Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lars returns to the Big Donut. (SDCC spoilers, this one may get contradicted by show events but is still fun)

**SADIE** : "I have to knock off early tonight, Ronaldo's doing another of his horror movie things. I figured you wouldn't want to go since, you know... last time."

 **LARS** : "Yeah, it's okay. I still have some things to work out, you know, in my own head since I got back."

 **SADIE** : "Oh! Yeah, I imagine so." (pause) "Did it, you know, hurt at all?" (pointing to scar)

 **LARS** : "Oh...." (pause) "No, actually, I don't remember it. I just woke up and I was..."

 **SADIE** : "Pink..."

 **LARS** : "Yeah."

 **SADIE** : "Steven says you had some pretty wild adventures out there."

 **LARS** : "Yeah. Really, the things we had to do to get back. Some of them were kinda bad, y'know."

 **SADIE** : "I heard you stole a spaceship!"

 **LARS** : "Yeah, it was the fastest in the galaxy too! It kind of got wrecked when we got back though."

 **SADIE** : "Maybe you could tell me about it tomorrow?"

 **LARS** : "Maybe... there's still some stuff I don't like to think about though."

 **SADIE** : "It's okay, just do it at your own pace -- oops, gotta go. You'll be okay here?"

 **LARS** : "Pfft, I flew half the galaxy to get back here, I can handle the store alone for a while."

 **SADIE** : "Ha ha! Okay then, see you tomorrow!" (exits)

 **LARS** : "See ya Sadie."

Lars stands at the counter. No one comes in. Time passes. Ten minutes, twenty, thirty minutes, eventually an hour. He stands, lost in thought. His expression doesn't change. Closing time arrives. Downcast, he goes to the front door, locks up, then goes to the back room.

All the inventory in the back room is gone. The place has been robbed, quietly, while he was in the front. In place of the boxes is a note: "NOW WE'RE EVEN -- XXX - E"

He squints a couple of tears from his eyes and can't suppress a wide smile as he shouts: "EEEMERAALLD!"


	5. Boardwalk Economics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gems speculate about money.

_The Gems are fighting a monster in town, and townsfolk scurry for cover._

**Greg** : _from inside Fish Stew Pizza_ "This way Buck!"

**Buck** : _running inside_ "Woah, bad scene!"

**Moose Monster** : "Harrooo!" _launches antlers like a boomerang, cracking brick_

**Pearl** : "Do not fear, humans! We will use our gem powers to stop this monster from attacking you!"

**Steven** : _adding numbers in a calculator app on his phone_ "That's about $230 in masonry labor to fix."

**Amethyst** : _swinging her whip at the monster_ "What are you doing?"

**Steven** : "Mayor Dewey is putting together a study into the monetary damage -- watch your head."

**Moose Monster** : "Barrumph, snort!" _flying antler swings by_

**Amethyst** : _ducks_ "Wow dude!"

**Steven** : "He's trying to get federal funding to pay for fixing the damage that monsters do."

**Amethyst** : "'Fixing...?' Like we fix your room?"

**Pearl** : "How does that happen?"

**Steven** : "...what do you, uh, mean?"

**Garnet** : _poofs the moose, walks over with its bubble_ "Amethyst has this theory that towns grow and heal naturally."

**Steven** : "Whaaaaaat?"

**Amethyst** : "It's true! I haven't figured out how it happens yet, but there's this process where these green sheets of paper *become* buildings! They're like SPORES!"

**Steven** : "Oh, I can explain that! Someone pays to build them! The money doesn't turn into buildings, instead, it's exchanged between the building's owner and the builder!"

**Garnet** : "I have observed that it works like electricity."

**Steven** : "What?"

**Garnet** : "Electricity travels from places of high electric potential to places of low electric potential, and its passage performs work. Money is the same."

**Steven** : "Huh, that's one way to think of it. But it's different than that--"

**Greg** : _emerging from building_ "It's a nice try, stu-ball, but I've tried explaining it to them many times before. I couldn't even get Rose to understand it! There just seems to be something _un-gemlike_ about money. Pearl's the best at it."

**Pearl** : _proudly_ "I always keep a wad of money paper in my gem in case of trouble with humans. Its pacifying effects are invaluable!"

**Greg** : "I think it's because gems don't need to eat, or have shelter, or most of the things humans need money for. Our culture is really kind of _built_ off of those needs."

**Kofi** : _emerging from building, seeing damage, expresses feigned shock_ "What has happened here? Just look at my beautiful wall!"

**Steven** : "Oh no! It wasn't the Gems this time, it was--"

**Kofi** : _theatrically_ "My wall! 'A successful business is a well-maintained business,' my sainted father used to say! How am I going to support my family like this?"

**Pearl** : _with a deep bow_ "Mr. Citizen, please accept this bundle of paper and be appeased." _hands over cash, then quietly to other gems_ "Let's leave before there's trouble." _she and others leap away_

**Kofi** : _making pleased noises, counting sheets_ "Hm hm!"

**Greg** : "That looks like almost a thousand dollars there."

**Kofi** : _a little startled_ "Universe! Hello! Well it costs a lot to repair brick of this quality."

**Steven** : "But it's just a couple of bricks, does it really cost that much?"

**Kofi** : _a little crestfallen_ "Do you think they will want the excess back?"

**Steven** : "Nah, I think you can keep the rest. I've got something interesting to tell Mayor Dewey, anyway. C'mon Dad, let's go."


End file.
